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Cheeseburger Pizza!!!

August 1, 2008

It’s official; I am a freak! If any of you have La Dolce Vegan!, perhaps you’ve seen the recipe for “The Joint’s ‘Cheese Burger’ Pizza.” Well, I hadn’t noticed it for a long time, but once I did, I knew I’d have to make it, mostly because I have a ridiculous love for pickles. Not sweet pickles *gag*, but the salty/sour dill sort.

Before baking:

This is my version of the pizza, mostly because the original recipe seemed to call for a bunch of stuff I don’t really buy, like fake burger crumbles (not a fan of TVP here) and vegan cheese blocks (they’re expensive & plasticky). I’m actually into the oldschool vegan nutritional yeasty sauces as cheese substitutes. Call me crazy, but I like their flavor, appreciate the nummy vitamin B goodness, & they can be tinkered with until they suit whatever you’re creating.

If you want to make this, maybe you should buy store-bought ingredients, unless you really enjoy spending countless hours prepping food like me!

Cheeseburger Pizza

  • pizza dough, prepared (this recipe is great; you’ll just use 1/2 of it if you like thin crust)
  • 3/4 cup pizza sauce (1/2 of recipe below)
  • 3/4 cup dill pickle slices, blotted with a towel to suck up the excess juice
  • 1/2 cup thinly sliced onion
  • 1 cup tempeh crumbles (recipe below, or fake ground beef of choice)
  • 1 cup vegan cheese sauce (recipe below, or use grated store-bought stuff)
  • 2-4 tablespoons yellow mustard

Preheat your oven to as high as that sucka will go. Mine probably got to 475*F or something like that. If you really want a crispy crust, I recommend a pizza stone (which I don’t have) or this cool pizza pan that is a circle with tons of tiny holes in the bottom. It’s rad.

Lightly grease whatever pan you’re using, or do whatever you’re supposed to do with your pizza stone. Take your dough (1/2 the above blob) & stretch & press it to the desired thinness or thickness. I get mine as thin as possible without putting holes in it.

Spread the tomato sauce all over it. Sprinkle the pickles, onions, & fake meat all over that beast. Drizzle the cheese over it, then squirt some mustard (not too much!) over it as well. Pop it in the oven till the bottom of the crust is golden, then broil it for a few minutes to get some color on the “cheese.” I sprinkled mine with some fresh chopped parsley because it was so damned yellow.

Quick Pizza Sauce

  • 6 ounces tomato paste
  • 6 ounces warm water
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 2 teaspoons agave nectar
  • 3/4 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon oregano
  • 1/4 teaspoon basil
  • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/8 teaspoon cayenne
  • 1/8 teaspoon red pepper flakes
  • salt to taste

Just whisk everything together & set aside while you prep the other stuff. You’ll only need 1/2 of this recipe for your pizza, so either freeze the extra for next time, or make another pizza or calzone.

Tempeh Crumbles from Vegan Vittles

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1/4 cup minced onion
  • 4 ounces tempeh, steamed for 20 minutes, then grated
  • 1 tablespoon soy sauce
  • 1 teaspoon chili powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon cumin
  • 1/4 teaspoon oregano
  • several drops of hot sauce

Heat skillet over medium heat. Add olive oil & saute the onion until translucent. While that’s doing its thing, toss the tempeh with the seasonings in a bowl. Once the onion is softened, add the seasoned tempeh, cooking & stirring till it dries out a bit & has a “ground beef” look to it. Set aside.

Vegan Cheese Sauce from The New Farm Vegetarian Cookbook

  • 1/4 cup nutritional yeast flakes
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 cup water
  • 2 tablespoons canola oil
  • 1/2 teaspoon yellow mustard

Whisk the nutritional yeast, flour, salt, & garlic powder in a small saucepan. Slowly whisk in the water to avoid lumps. Turn burner on to medium heat & whisk that sucker constantly, or you’ll have chunky cheese from Hell. Once it’s bubbly, add the oil & mustard, whisking till smooth & shiny. Remove from heat & set aside.

***Just a warning, kids: Broilers are hot & you should really try to avoid touching them. Also, charred flesh smells like burning hair. Good to know!

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. August 1, 2008 5:12 pm

    I never would have thought all those things would make such an amazing looking pizza!

  2. August 1, 2008 7:22 pm

    Oh gosh, do be careful! Hope the yummy-looking pizza made it all better 🙂

  3. August 2, 2008 3:34 am

    okay, the mention of pickles on pizza kinda sold me on the whole thing right away. And I’m soooo with you on preferring homemade meat/cheese subs – they DO taste better. Like real spices and ingredients! hmmm… I think I might have to try this soon. and thanks for the recipes!

  4. Kala permalink
    August 2, 2008 8:53 am

    Wow, that looks really yummy! The pizza, not the ouchy finger 🙂

  5. August 2, 2008 3:47 pm

    Liz—I hope you like it if you make it. The meat adds a certain taco flavor to it, so adjust accordingly if you’re not into that. It was a fun experiment!

    ovenhaven—Thank you. I probably burn myself once a week, usually not too badly though, and my skin is pretty numb by now! Scary.

    Kala—Yeah, the finger hurts bad enough already! :o)

  6. August 3, 2008 6:33 am

    ouch! sadface on the burn! your pizza looks AMAZING though! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! i need to make this one, for sure! thanks for the recipe!

  7. Jennifer permalink
    August 4, 2008 7:37 am

    I’m with you – I love the nooch cheese sauces way more than the block cheeses (although I’ve never tried Teese).

    That pizza looks scrumptious!

  8. August 6, 2008 2:00 pm

    jessy—You’re very welcome.

    Jennifer—I haven’t tried Teese yet either, but I’ve heard mixed reviews, and given the price, I don’t really feel it’s worth it. Plus prepared vegan cheese blocks don’t last very long, then grow a weird pink mold (scary!).

  9. vegtasticvoyage permalink
    August 11, 2008 3:50 pm

    Ha! I burn myself at least every other time I use the oven. I feel a little less special-needs. Thanks.

    And Teese is worth a try. It’s more expensive than FYH, but maybe not by volume; you get a lot–maybe one and a half times as much. I can’t eat any of the cheddar-y cheeses, though. For blocks, I’m strictly mozzarella. And if I’m not going to finish it fast, I throw it in the freezer. It’s a little different when it thaws, but it’s fine for melting.

  10. August 16, 2008 6:17 pm

    I am making this RIGHT NOW. I took the lazy way — prepared crust and meat crumbles — but I did make your cheese sauce.

    It smells so good, I don’t know if I’ll be able to wait for it to cool down before I start eating. Yum!

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